Published: Thursday, 2nd July, 2009 8:50am
Widow forced to root through bin liners to find memorial plaque
by Gary Fitzpatrick
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A WEST Fife widow has hit out over the 'disgusting' removal of a plaque and vases placed at Dunfermline crematorium in memory of her husband in a council clampdown.
Elizabeth Muirhead was left distressed after going to the crematorium on Tuesday to place flowers to commemorate her husband, Alexander, who died four years ago.
She discovered the marble plaque engraved with her husband"s name and three vases were missing and the flowers from them discarded on the ground.
Mrs Muirhead"s brother-in-law was called to the crem to help her rummage through black bags looking for the mementoes.
The items had been placed on the site where the family scattered Mr Muirhead"s ashes and they had already agreed to remove a statue after a previous move by the council against memorabilia.
The case again highlights the sensitive issue of councils trying to keep a check on the memorials placed by grieving families.
This has led to a string of confrontations between relatives and management in graveyards and crematoria.
'I think it"s disgusting and amounts to stealing from graves. If this was young people who had come in and done this the police would be after them,' said Mrs Muirhead (75), Main Street, Kingseat.
'The black bags were piled on top of each other and we had to look through them. There were ornaments that had been broken because the bags had just been clashed down. There"s going to be a lot more people upset when they find out what"s happened.
'I had seen men going about with black bags over their shoulder and this was what they were doing – picking up all these things.
'They"ve gone too far this time. I could see the problems with people building fences and other things but we had permission for this after we moved the statue.
'A council worker had said then that it was a shame because it was well looked after. I told the woman in the office that what they had done was disgusting and would she like it to happen to her family?
'One of the vases we had was bought from the crematorium so they"re selling them and removing them as well. What are people supposed to do with their flowers now, leave them lying on the ground? I had the plaque made with my husband"s name and it cost £100. We eventually found it but we couldn"t find the vases in amongst all the rest of the stuff.'
Liz Murphy, Fife Council bereavement services manager, said, 'There have been signs up for the past six to eight weeks saying this was going to happen. We waited until after Father"s Day.
'We had a previous tidying up operation a couple of years ago but it"s been starting to creep back in with people adopting their own parts of the grounds which are for general use.
'The items were collected in individual bags and details and a photograph should have been given. I know in this case the lady felt she had been given permission for the items to be placed and it"s something I"ll look into.
'We"re sorry for the upset caused but it"s because of this situation with people adopting parts of the crematorium grounds.'
She added that vases were no longer sold at the crematorium.
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B. Nicolson
(Unregistered User)
Jul 4 09 17:51
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Dear Sir/Madam,
I was so sad to read about Mrs. Muirhead's plight. It must have been very distressing for her, especially after the plaque had been removed.
I can understand the difficulty that the crematorium may be having in terms of people adopting parts of the crematorium grounds. I don't have any personal vested interest, but as a human being, I think that it would be nice if the department could make some area for remembrance of those who have passed away.
When I was in the Lake District at William Wordsworth's grave, I saw that they had small paving stones about 12/14 inches square, laid beside each other to create a pathway, and on them were the names of people. The families had to pay for the stones to be carved with the names of their loved ones and set in place. Perhaps, if this were feasible at the crematorium, this method of remembrance could be adopted.
This would satisfy the need for a lasting memorial to those loved ones departed, but also add to income generation for the management of the crematorium. It would'nt be cluttered and would be easy to maintain.
Yours faithfully,
B. Nicolson
B. Nicolson
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Jul 4 09 17:57
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Dear Sir/Madam,
I was so sad to read about Mrs. Muirhead's plight. It must have been very distressing for her, especially after the plaque had been removed.
I can understand the difficulty that the crematorium may be having in terms of people adopting parts of the crematorium grounds. I don't have any personal vested interest, but as a human being, I think that it would be nice if the department could make some area for remembrance of those who have passed away.
When I was in the Lake District at William Wordsworth's grave, I saw that they had small paving stones about 12/14 inches square, laid beside each other to create a pathway, and on them were the names of people. The families had to pay for the stones to be carved with the names of their loved ones and set in place. Perhaps, if this were feasible at the crematorium, this method of remembrance could be adopted.
This would satisfy the need for a lasting memorial to those loved ones departed, but also add to income generation for the management of the crematorium. It would'nt be cluttered and would be easy to maintain.
Yours faithfully,
B. Nicolson
j roots
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Jul 5 09 09:13
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Again this is a disgraceful way to deal with the memory of any ones loved ones, I just wonder if these people would feel the same if it was their loved ones.
The cost of a funeral is astronomical in the UK and now your saying that these people can't place a symbol of remembrance because it makes your crematorium untidy.
Have a heart for goodness sake.
mmac
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Jul 14 09 19:44
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It is an absolutely diabolical state of affairs when someone can't go along to where their loved ones are buried and remember their days together.
For Fife Council to sell flower vases to families and not let people know that they are not allowed or might well be lifted (even though you pay good money to buy them)is scandalous. Do we ASSUME that they are alright to put down or is it a case of - Never assume - it makes an ASS of U & ME.
If the name plaque had not been found was Fife Council going to re-imburse the cost of £100 for something that was bought on their recommendation?
Not once in the last two years did anyone from Fife council approach her and say that they were not allowed. I know Mrs Muirhead and also know that she goes along to replace the flowers on her husbands grave every two weeks (sometimes more often if she was going on holiday or for birthdays etc) so they don't even have the excuse of lifting the flowers because they were past or dead.
THEY SHOULD BE THOUROUGHLY ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES FOR LEAVING A WIDOW IN THE STATE SHE WAS IN (SHE WAS ILL FOR DAYS AFTER IT) AND HOPE THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENS ONE DAY TO THEM AND THEIR LOVED ONES
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