There was a whole bunch of them. You know the type, white shirts, black ties and poorly fitting blazers. Knocking on my door on a Sunday afternoon. Interrupting my weekend nap time. Who are they, and what do they want? Missionaries who are targeting me...

This unexpected intrusion got me thinking about religion and the meaning of life, and since politics seems to have taken a short holiday here in Washington DC. got me curious.

God created the heavens and earth in seven days. Why did it take a week?. Why not six days, nine days or if he was really omnipotent, didn't he/she create it in a flash? I'm being politically correct here as I don't know if God has a gender.

If God created human beings why did he really mess up on our anatomy. We breathe air in, adjacent to where we ingest food. Two inches farther apart and Dr Heimlich would have had to invent another maneuver. The male prostate is in the wrong place. and our appendix does nothing except send us to hospital when it gets inflamed.

I hope God reads my blog, which he must do as he is omnipotent, I hope he doesn't get upset. We all have an off-day, and creating the heavens and earth to a schedule can be a daunting task. I just wish he had taken a little more time on where he put things. Why do we have eye brows? They get bushy and don't really do much.

I'm not an atheist or agnostic, I just believe in hedging my bets by staying on the fence. I have no desire to end up in hell with Richard Nixon or Adolf Hitler. I think God being all-forgiving will cut me some slack on not being too enthusiastic on the religious side.

In a theological discussion with any atheist, Charles Darwin's 'Origin of the Species' inevitably comes up. Darwin did explain where and how our species originated, just not why? Ironically Darwin who is often quoted by atheists, was himself a devout Christian. God gave Moses Ten Commandments. Actually there were more than ten, but Moses somehow lost a couple coming down off the mountain and he only had ten left when he checked-in at base camp. Moses was in his eighties when he climbed Mt. Sinai. I hope I am still that fit when I am eighty.

I've never understood why the Israelites spent forty years in the desert. The Sinai desert is huge, but it had established trade and caravan routes and forty years does seem a little excessive. They had to be moving in circles for a very long time.

Jews, Christians and Muslims all worship the same God. They all believe that God of course plays favourites and theirs is the 'true' religion. Well, which one is it?

The answer is of course, none of the above. Which is why I am sitting on the religious fence. If I remain impartial to all religions I can't go wrong, can I. Nations have gone to war invoking God's name on either side. They can't all be right. Jihadists wage their type of War in the name of their deity. The Germans in WW1 had 'Got mit Uns' (God with US) on their Prussian belt buckles. Was he? The Kaiser, who spent his golden years in Holland chopping down trees, might disagree.

President 'The Great Decider' Bush who believed he was doing God's work, dropped the 'C' word during a speech (Crusade) which went down really well with the Arab countries, who have remarkably long memories.

The Crusaders (in God's name) fought with the evil Muslim, Saladin (who also had Gods help) in the middle ages. This is where it gets confusing. Does God choose sides? I don't think so. The Bible is full of tales of Gods direct intervention in the affairs of man. What happened? Has the Almighty just lost interest.? What did we do wrong? Where's a burning bush or parting of the seas when you need them?

If anyone deserves a plague of locusts or a flood, it's Osama Bin Laden and his Pakistani protectors. I know there is (major spoiler alert) no Santa Claus. There is no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. So is there really an Almighty?

God I hope so.

Across the Pond Follow 'Across the Pond' on Twitter: www.twitter.com/fraefife