A WEST FIFE woman has told of her "nightmare" after finding out that her son's ashes had been disposed of without her knowledge.

Dunfermline-born Carol Howden (42) was 17 when her four-month-old son, John, died of cot death on 28th October 1988.

Dunfermline Crematorium told her there would be no remains.

In January she saw the news about the scandal at Mortonhall Crematorium where children's ashes were scattered without their parents' knowledge.

Carol, who lives in Inverness, contacted Fife SANDS, a charity offering support and advice to parents and families whose baby has died during pregnancy or soon after birth.

In an exclusive interview with the Press, Carol spoke of her devastation.

"The day that he told me there would be no remains it just didn't sink in," she said.

"If I'd been older I might have followed my gut instincts but I never envisaged myself having to find this out all these years later.

"This woman came on TV and said word for word what I'd been told. All the blood drained out of me and something just clicked.

"I contacted Fife SANDS then the BBC got in touch. I was told what had really happened for the first time on the documentary.

"To go more than half my life just to find out that somebody who didn't care about him had dumped his ashes.

"Why would another human being do this?

"The grief that losing a child brings is one thing, this was a nightmare." Although Fife Council issued an apology it wasn't made directly to Carol.

She was eventually contacted by bereavement services manager Liz Murphy and claimed, "They offered to take some pictures of the crematorium but of what? Of a bit of ground they turned over years ago and made into a memorial garden?

"That's really callous.

"It's absolutely disgusting that there won't be a prosecution.

"They've taken the last bits of my memory.

"I miss him every day. I would give my life to have him back. This should never, ever have happened to anybody.

"There will always be that hole in my heart, you can't get closure on that." Ms Murphy said, "This particular cremation was carried out 25 years ago and the records remaining from that time show that John's ashes were scattered in the Crematorium Gardens.

"This would normally have been at the instruction of the funeral director.

"However, in accordance with The Cremation (Scotland) Regulations 1935, these detailed records are only retained for a period of 15 years, so we're simply not in a position to be able to verify this.

"We can only apologise in retrospect to Ms Howden if this wasn't done in accordance with her wishes.

"After the recent BBC documentary on the issue of baby cremations, a number of people have been in touch looking for clarification on our processes.

"We've reiterated to them and given a reassurance that both our crematoria in Fife operate to a high standard and experienced staff work to quality standards based on legislation and national guidance.

"While we know this is a distressing time we will always give families the full facts and information on the processes involved and where any ashes are present following a cremation we will offer them back." A spokesperson for Fife SANDS said, "Since the issues at Mortonhall Crematorium came to light we have had three other calls regarding this issue.

"All of these calls were from the wider Fife area and are from parents worried that the same thing has happened to them."