CONNER Paterson’s world “collapsed” around him as he was told that his older brother had taken his own life.

He had received a call from his mum telling him to urgently come to the family home in Culross where the heartbreaking news was then revealed.

That morning, June 13, police officers had attended the scene in Dunfermline where Callum Paterson’s body was found.

He was just 29-years-old.

Speaking to the Press, Conner, 24, recalled the moment he found out what had happened.

“I was in shock,” he said.

“You’re still in shock for weeks afterwards. You just feel like the whole world around you has collapsed – and it just continues to collapse as you go on.

“You only get a few moments of light relief. You just need to keep going until those moments get longer and longer.

“I was at work when my mum phoned to say I needed to come home straightaway. It was a five-minute walk up the hill and it was the worst feeling.

“Then I walked through the door and my mum and the police were there.”

News of Callum’s death stunned his friends and loved ones, with around 500 people attending his funeral.

Described by his best mate as the “ultimate extrovert”, his mum, Chris, said he was “on great form” at a family birthday just days before his death.

“He was the life and soul of the party,” she said.

“I don’t think I’d seen him as happy as he was that night in a long time.”

To Conner, his brother was the same “happy-go-lucky character” that he always was, having returned to Fife in April after staying with his girlfriend in Ireland for a spell.

It was during his time in Ireland when he first reached out to his younger brother, telling him that he wasn’t ok.

“He just said to me that he was in a really bad place at the time,” he commented.

“I phoned him straight away and asked him what was going on. He just said he needed somebody to talk to.

“That was around February and I helped him as much as I could, given that I was in another country. I was phoning and messaging him everyday.

“That was just before he came back over. And Callum being Callum, everything seemed normal to me when he came back. I wouldn’t have been able to tell that anything was up with Callum had he not previously asked me for help.

“I just assumed that he had got the help he needed, and was continuing to get that help. But, obviously that wasn’t the case.

“Although he had asked me for help, I didn’t think he was in that mindset. I didn’t realise he needed that much help.”

In the wake of Callum’s passing, an online fundraising page was created which generated thousands of pounds to help cover funeral costs and other expenses.

A collection for Andy’s Man Club was also held at the funeral on July 2, which raised £1,155.

The Dunfermline branch of the club has attracted scores of men to its weekly Monday night meetings – hosted at the Erskine Building, Pilmuir Street at 7pm – in recent months.

Offering a cup of coffee, support and a chat in a non-judgemental and welcoming environment, Chris said that Callum had stated he was keen on going to one of the drop-in sessions, but never did.

And Conner stressed how important he believes organisations like Andy’s Man Club to be in providing men the chance to be open about their feelings and break the stigma that surrounds mental health.

He stated: “The more people that talk about mental health, the better.

“I’ve no idea why there’s a stigma.

“It’s almost seen like you’re a failure if you need to get help. I don’t think people would actually think that about them if they said they needed help, but people who are suffering may think that they would. I would never have called Callum a failure for that. Andy’s Man Club is an open space where guys can go and express their feelings without being judged. Nobody is going to look down their noses at you. It’s vital; crucial in this battle that’s going on right now.”

The Press launched our #WeNeedToTalk campaign at the start of July after six West Fife men decided to take their own lives within the space of seven weeks.

“You can’t put into words to think that there’s that many families that are going through what we’re going through right now,” Conner expressed.

“You feel like it will never happen to you, but then it does.

“I can’t actually put into words how heartbreaking that is. It just rips you apart.

“I wish Callum could see how many people loved him.

“The response has been heartwarming to us. Some days, when I wake up, it’s one of the only things that keeps me going and gets me out of bed, knowing that we aren’t the only ones that are going to miss him.

“It’s comforting to know that there’s so many people we can rely on for support. It can be heartwarming, but then you also just think, ‘If only he knew’.”

His comments were echoed by his mum, who said: “I didn’t realise we had so many friends. They’ve been so generous.

“The police officers (Kris Robertson and Steven Smith, and latterly Sandy Brydon) who were dealing with Callum’s death were also absolutely spot-on with us.

“I was in the car park when they were looking for my house. They asked me to come inside, and just after they told me they said, ‘Right, what do you want us to do? Name it and we’ll do it.’

“They were so kind. They came back the next day as well to talk about things with us. I’d like to thank them for being so supportive.”

In talking to the Press, Callum’s family hope it can inspire others to talk about their feelings with those closest to them to help prevent another tragedy.

“There’s one thing for sure, and that’s our lives are never going to be the same again,” Chris concluded.

  • Andy's Man Club run a group in Dunfermline once a week at the Erskine Building every Monday between 7pm and 9pm.
  • The Samaritans helpline is 116 123 and is open 24 hours, seven days a week. Calls can be made any time, from any phone and are confidential. For those who find it hard to speak, they can email: jo@samaritans.org.
  • Breathing Space is funded by the Scottish Government’s Mental Health Unit and is delivered by NHS 24. Simply call 0800 838587. The helpline is open 24 hours at weekends – Friday 6pm until Monday 6am – and from 6pm to 2am from Mondays to Thursdays.