FROM its meetings in Dunfermline and across Fife, one organisation is continuing to provide help and support for West Fifers whose lives are affected by a loved one's drinking.

The Al-Anon Family Group offers help, guidance and fellowship to those living with an alcoholic.

The Press reported in August that the number of Fifers who have died through an alcohol-specific illness is the highest in 18 years, and group members are keen to ensure that families and friends who are having to deal with an alcoholic loved one know they are able to reach out for help.

The organisation offers family members and friends the chance to come together to share experience, strength and hope with each other.

The group rep at the Dunfermline meetings, who wished to remain anonymous, has been attending for around four years.

"To be honest, it has saved my sanity, that is the truth," she said. "It is just a great fellowship. When I first started, I joined in Kirkcaldy because I didn't want to go in case anyone recognised me.

"Alcohol is obviously the common denominator but it is people from all walks of life. In Fife there are over 40 groups for the AA – that is the level of alcoholism. They say for every alcoholic, it affects at least seven members of a family.

"For us, anonymity is of the utmost importance. What I find myself is that it is such an honest programme. You can be totally honest about how you are feeling in the circumstances and it goes no further and that has been great.

"There is a stigma attached to alcoholism. I know, personally-speaking, we wanted to contain it within our family. We didn't want to talk about it but once I got through the doors, it is like-minded people so you can share round the table and it is a relief.

"It is a happy place. We always get a laugh. I am lucky. The alcoholic in my life is sober at the moment and has been for a wee while but the next drink is only an arm's length away so you can never be too complacent.

"Our symbol is one day at a time and the Al-Anon is 'Let it begin with me". I thought someone would sit me down and say, 'This is what we will do to fix them' but it not about the alcoholic. It is about the family, the friends and about you. We are all affected by the horrible illness."

Another person who attends the Dunfermline group said Al-Anon had helped her "recover" her life.

"I felt such a comfort because I realised I was not alone, I was not mad," she explained. "I hadn't caused this situation, couldn't control or cure the problem but I was contributing to the chaos.

"My husband was suffering from an illness called alcoholism and I was affected too. The relief was awesome. My husband still binge-drinks. I have no power over that. I go regularly to Al-Anon meetings and am recovering a day at a time. I would love my husband to find sobriety – ideally in AA – but that is for him."

Another relative said she had been desperate to find a solution.

They said: "I naively thought they were going to help stop my alcoholic from drinking. This is not what Al-Anon is about, it is about helping you. This fellowship saved my sanity, from the first meeting I attended, there were people who truly understood because they were dealing with this horrible disease and trying to cope as I was.

"We all share experiences, strength and hope. It is an amazing programme. I have learned to laugh again, to appreciate the good things I have and am truly grateful for all the lovely people I have met and have become close to in Al-Anon."

One parent went to the group as she and her husband were becoming "increasingly despairing" of their daughter's alcoholism.

"Through a series of readings from Al-Anon literature, following a programme based on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and sharing our experiences and feelings, although at an early stage, we are gradually coming to realise from the support, comfort and fellowship we receive, that our lives can be transformed despite our daughter's continued drinking," they said.

Another relative said they had become "as sick" as their alcoholic.

"I had become controlling, angry, resentful and full of self-pity," said the member. "Every emotion was based on fear. I lost all my compassion for the alcoholic in my life but at the same time all I could focus on was my alcoholic.

"Al-Anon helped me look at my own behaviour and how I wasn't helping the situation. I learned alcoholism is a disease which I didn't cause, can't control and can't cure.

"I have learned you can't argue with an alcoholic, you can respond rather than react, you can say what you mean but not be mean when you say it. I've learned to detach from the disease but not my alcoholic and that changing attitudes helps recovery.

"Today I have a better relationship with my alcoholic and she is seeking help without any pressure from me. I can truly say Al-Anon has given me my life back and should a crisis arise, I'm in a far better place to deal with it."

Al-Anon meetings take place in the Queen Margaret Hospital every Sunday at 7pm and at St Margaret's Parish Church in Touch every Tuesday at 11am. For more details, visit al-anonuk.org.uk.