A YOUNG farmer worker, who tried to take his life on two occasions, has bravely opened up about his mental health struggles in an effort to raise awareness on an dark issue that hanging over the agricultural industry.

Adam Mathison, who is a member of West Fife Young Farmers, concealed his pain from those he loved which led him to being admitted to hospital in December following a mental breakdown.

He has shared his story after research by the Farm Safety Foundation revealed that over 80% of farmers under the age of 40 believe poor mental health is the biggest hidden danger facing the industry today.

The 22-year-old wasn’t born in to farming but always had a passion for the countryside. After attending college he pursued contracting jobs in Ireland and Fife, before finding himself in his current role in mid-Lothian.

To his peers Adam has always been the life and soul of the party, so it came as a huge shock when they discovered someone ‘so strong’ could hit rock bottom.

“I had a bad accident last August and had to be housebound for three weeks,” he said.

“For someone who is really independent, I suddenly had to rely on everyone around me to tend to my every need, which made me feel like such a burden.”

Adam returned to his work before he was ready, determined not to appear ‘weak’ and leaving those around him oblivious to the inner turmoil he was facing.

A month later, someone close to him tried to take their own life, which weighed heavily on his mind, but instead of taking time off work to process it, he pretended everything was okay.

He continued: “I struggled on, trying to juggle stuff going on at home with work, family and relationships – it was just too much for my head to handle, I was all over the place.

Adam continued to see his friends but put on a show of strength to mask how he was really feeling.

“One of my friends has said to me since that he’d never have known anything was wrong with me. We had been out for a round of mini golf and as usual I was the one cracking jokes.

“They never thought I would be the person to throw the towel in and be defeated from an illness."

In early December, all the emotions Adam was trying desperately to conceal came to a climax and he made the decision to end his life.

“I was in such a dark place; my head couldn’t handle it any longer. I went to bed one night and said good night to everyone.

“My mum found me the next morning and called the ambulance. I was kept in hospital for a couple of days, but I let my pride get in the way and wouldn’t accept follow-up support from the crisis team.”

Only a week later, Adam ended up back in that same hospital for a second time.

With his family and friends begging him to accept support, he agreed to be admitted into Huntlyburn Ward in Melrose where he spent six and a half weeks recovering.

There he found the help he needed and he was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and put on a course of medication.

After encouragement to also go to the gym, Adam turned a chapter and got a whole new lease of life.

He said: “I remember when the doctor said to me, you’re ready to go home. It was such an emotional moment. I had built myself back up from being in that horrible, dark, nasty place.

“The scariest and most powerful obstacle you will ever come up against is your own mind. But if you seek support, only then will you come through the other side.”

Turning to the stigma which exists around mental health in farming, he stressed that more needs to be done to normalise questions around mental health and to take time out when you are struggling.

In 2019/2020, there were a total of 133 suicides registered in England, Wales and Scotland in those working in farming and agricultural related trades, according to the Office of National Statistics and the National Records of Scotland.

“Farming is hard going, you work long hours in a machine, on your own for a lot of the day. You could be first out in the morning and last one in at night, get your tea, go to bed – repeat!" Adam explained.

“So often men feel like they have to be like robots and not show emotion. I realise now you have to prioritise your own health, you can’t be strong for others if you don’t look after number one.

“As an industry we need to start treating mental health the same as physical health. No one is ashamed to say when they have broken their leg, why should this be any different?” he asked.

“If my story can help one person, then that person goes on to help someone else then that is all I can hope for,” Adam concluded.